No Pouting Allowed
From the desk of Wally Dawkins, Athletic Director:
As the four year old crossed her arms, pooched out her lips and slumped while seated on the floor of a local grocery store, the frustrated mom hopelessly pleaded with her uncooperative youngster to consider standing up so they could finish shopping.
It appears the toddler was upset with her mother because 鈥渕om鈥� would not allow her to indulge in the box of red-iced cookies, topped with green and yellow sprinkles that she so desperately needed.聽 Due to the mother鈥檚 reply of 鈥渘o鈥�, the child dropped to the floor like melting chocolate, appeared to no longer be in possession of a pulse, and blankly gazed into the adjacent produce section while ignoring the mothers insistence that the behavior change.聽 Soon the mother鈥檚 strategy changed from giving directives to the infamous bargaining process with the mistreated preschooler.
鈥淚f you get up, and are good the rest of the time鈥� the mom proposed, 鈥渢hen I will get you those cookies鈥�.
Score a point for the four year old!
As a coach, I have often noticed that athletes, although most of the ones I work with are 10-15 years older than the child in the above paragraph, often use similar tactics when they don鈥檛 get their way.
Being of the old school type, I still refer to this type of behavior by young people simply as 鈥減outing鈥�.
Maybe the player was not a part of the starting line-up.聽 Or it could be his or her friend wasn鈥檛 with them in the starting line-up.聽 Possibly it was because they were taken out of the game鈥r never put in the game鈥r not put in the game at the right time.聽 Maybe we didn鈥檛 do what they wanted to do at practice.
Possibly practice was too hard or just not enough fun, or too long.
Then there is always the 鈥渃oach yelled at me鈥� or 鈥渃oach got onto me today鈥�, or my favorite鈥︹�漜oach doesn鈥檛 like me鈥�.聽 I鈥檓 sure I haven鈥檛 seen it all as far as the reasons players 鈥減out鈥�, but I have seen most of them.
Pouting to me is a lot like camo, and sorry…but also a lot like tattoos.聽 I have never seen a tattoo, or camo shirt, camo pair of pants, camo hat, anything camo that I thought was attractive.聽 Just my opinion but camo-tattoo-pouting鈥 just don鈥檛 like the way they look. The mother in the grocery store did get one thing right when she told the little girl 鈥渆verybody鈥檚 looking at you鈥�.聽 I.e., they don鈥檛 like what they see.
I really don鈥檛 like to see athletes pout.
I have told players many times that pouting is not attractive and also that pouting does not work with me.
I think the better answer is what I told my children when they were growing up.聽 I did not let my kids pout.聽 I鈥檓 not saying they never did, but they were not allowed to.聽 They knew if they pouted, they still were not going to get what they wanted.聽 In fact鈥he opposite would happen.
If one of mine started to pout because something did not go their way, they knew what was coming.
At our house, we had a rule about pouting and it was simply this.
鈥淚f you pout鈥t鈥檚 gonna get worse鈥�.聽 In other words, if my wife or I made a decision, or gave a directive, or told them no and they went into frowny face, my life has ended as I know it, or pity poor me mode, the consequences were going to be stiffer than the previous answer of simply 鈥渘o you can鈥檛, yes you have to, I don鈥檛 care, or we are not going to spend that much money鈥�.
You get the picture.
As parents, we teach our kids early and often how to deal with situations that don鈥檛 go their way.
It could possibly be we do like the mom in the grocery store and finally give in to the child so the pouting will stop.聽 It could be that we side with the child and blame others for the reason they are pouting in the first place.
With my Middle School Boys Basketball team, our coaches have a goal of developing better Christian men while developing better basketball players.聽 In an effort to accomplish this, pouting is one of the things we just don鈥檛 allow.聽 We tell them that men, Christian men, when things go wrong, figure out a way to make things right.聽 As a husband鈥s a dad鈥s a Jesus follower.
It is amazing how this simple yet enforceable response to pouting works with Middle School boys.
My experience is that it works equally well with children of all ages.
The great thing is this: once children figure out what the parent鈥檚 response to pouting will be, they will adjust their actions accordingly.聽 For better or worse.
Now, I know this is not a cut and dried approach to each and every situation.聽 I am also sure that somewhere, there is an article of camo that looks good.聽 And quite possibly, even a tattoo that is awesome (I actually do like the Ironman tattoo, but I have never been willing to do all that swimming, cycling, and running to get one).
But as parents, coaches, and leaders we need to train the young people we work with to find ways to overcome obstacles, deal with setbacks, and work through situations that didn鈥檛 go as we had wanted.
Even Santa Claus warns about pouting!聽 You know the words.
鈥淵ou better watch out. You better not cry.聽 Better not pout I鈥檓 telling you why.聽 Santa Claus is coming to town.鈥�
And that鈥檚 another reason to be 鈥淎LL ORANGE鈥ll The Time鈥�!