91猫先生

From the desk of Wally Dawkins, Athletic Director:

I frequently hear about the difficulties in teaching鈥�coaching鈥�and parenting Middle School age students.

By the age of 12-13 years, it seems that in the blink of an eye that your sweet, dependent, needy youngster has all of sudden turned into a complete stranger.聽 Simultaneously, as a parent, your I.Q. has suddenly plummeted, you are no longer cool or funny, and possibly not even worthy of sharing the same room to watch TV.聽 The cell phone has now garnished the attention of most of these newly crowned teenagers, and things like Snapchat, Instagram, and 鈥淰ines鈥�, are as clear as your ability to understand Urdu.聽 Not to even mention PlayStation or X-Box.

Middle School aged kids can be frustrating and challenging for parents.

For me, working with the Middle School Boys Basketball Team at 91猫先生 these past two years has been one of the most enjoyable experiences of my coaching career.聽 I will share with you a simple secret later in this article as to how your dealings with this 鈥渁lien鈥� can be equally enjoyable.

I have learned a lot over the years from the people who have gone before me.聽Many of the strategies that I have developed in dealing with young people have come from coaches and teachers who, believe it or not, are even older than myself.聽Maybe it is because of their shared wisdom, that coaching Middle School athletes has been so fun for me.

I have found that Middle Schoolers are very impressionable and if you can get their attention, will hang on your every word.聽 I enjoy seeing them get 鈥渂ig-eyed鈥� when I tell them of the past players I have coached and some stories regarding athletics.聽 I am fortunate to have Kyle Ford, one of my former outstanding players at Whitehouse on our basketball coaching staff.聽 Our players really admire Coach Ford and by being able to use him as an example really resonates with these youngsters.

I have also discovered how trusting these 12-14 year olds can be, so it is incredibly important that honesty and transparency is the standard. 聽It is crucial that I be careful with them when I tell them past tales that I don鈥檛 exaggerate the facts.聽 And I must admit, that is a challenge for me.

Middle School age students鈥�athletes鈥�you know鈥�the alien, will believe what you tell them initially, but in the long run, you just can鈥檛 fool kids.

I also know from experience that this age group really wants to please their parents, teachers, and coaches.聽 They really want to鈥� it just doesn鈥檛 always look like that鈥檚 the case. Sometimes in their brain鈥�the lines get a little blurred and although the compass can be pointed towards E, they are actually drifting off in a westward direction.聽 By recognizing this, it gives me as their coach, or you as the parent, the ability to seize this off-course movement, and pour a dose of right direction into them using carefully chosen words that are intended to steady the ship鈥檚 course.聽 I relish these opportunities with our MS boys鈥� basketball players, while anxiously waiting to see the results.

OK鈥�now for the secret I promised about dealing with Middle Schoolers.

This might sound somewhat rough around the edges鈥�insensitive鈥�hard hearted鈥�but it鈥檚 tried and true.

Middle School children just want to know this simple one thing: Who is the boss?

Once they determine, who is in charge鈥�who is calling the shots鈥�who is the 鈥渆nd all鈥濃��once they figure this out, you will be surprised as to what will happen next.聽 On the flip side, when they don鈥檛 know 鈥渨ho the boss is鈥�, they begin to actively take on that role for themselves.聽 And if that happens, the results can be, well鈥�disastrous.

Along with the knowing who the boss is, those of us who deal with these highly impressionable, super sensitive, sometimes moody children also need to remember that when you are 13 going on 21, affirmation is also extremely important.聽 When I say affirmation I am referring to genuine affirmation that recognizes any and all positive aspects of a Middle School child鈥檚 life.聽 Underneath that 鈥淪imonized鈥� exterior of cool, confident, and calloused shell, is more times than not what truthfully amounts to self-doubt, confusion, and vulnerability.

I have so much fun with my Middle School basketball players that sometimes I can鈥檛 believe that my career has stooped so high.聽 I feel blessed each and every day that I am able to let them know 鈥渨ho鈥檚 boss鈥� while at the same time looking for opportunities to genuinely affirm their strengths and potential.

So鈥�the next time you feel like you are having to be Will Smith as you find yourself dealing with creatures you have never seen before, try implementing consistently the two techniques referred to above.聽 You just might be surprised as to the results.

And that鈥檚 another reason to be 鈥淎LL ORANGE鈥�All The Time鈥�!