Breaking Down Walls
From the desk of Jordy Barksdale, Director of Campus Life & Ministry:
As educators, we find ourselves needing to be creative as we find ways to connect to our students. One of the main requirements of working at 91猫先生 is an eagerness to invest in to the lives of the next generation. Sometimes it鈥檚 just as easy for a 7th grade girl to put up a wall as it is for an 11th grade boy. It becomes a safety net to 鈥渘ot let anyone in鈥� and make it seem like they are unapproachable. Teachers see it all the time in the classroom as they look at a tired student with eyes glazed over and the facial expression of 鈥渄on鈥檛 mess with me.鈥澛� We can all relate to the feeling of not wanting to engage with those around us and just wanting to stare in to the abyss and not speak.
Working at a school, we get to see all sides of a student鈥檚 personality, both positive and negative. The difficult aspect arises when we continually find it hard to connect with certain students that we feel the Lord leading us toward. 聽There are occasions when the non-verbal communication of student screams 鈥淪omeone care about me, please!鈥� You can see their heavy, intrinsic desire to be known. Unfortunately, those are the ones that can easily build walls and make it hard to engage in normal, healthy conversation with. Yet, as the Lord leads, he opens up doors for his work to be done.
I got to experience this struggle on the college trips with the 9th and 10th grade and found that the Lord cares more about these students than I do and he wants to provide us with opportunities to seek out other people in a way that glorifies Him. There were students that I felt like I should get to know further and didn鈥檛 know exactly how to go about doing that. Then I realized the magic formula to communication 鈥� everyone likes to talk about themselves. Asking questions that speak value to others need to include the pronouns 鈥測ou鈥� and yours鈥� and should rarely include 鈥渕e鈥� and 鈥渕ine.鈥� I decided I would get the students talking about themselves, to me, in a way that allowed me to learn more about what they like and don鈥檛 like. It was incredible to see them open up to me as I saw the figurative walls come crashing down. This happened on a roller coaster ride in Galveston, at Buc-ee鈥檚, walking across a TCU鈥檚 campus and sharing a meal at the SMU dining hall. All of the sudden, with a little effort, there were students engaging in conversation with me for the first time. I consider it a privilege for teenagers to communicate things going on in their life with me.
It鈥檚 easier for me to find an excuse not to seek out the students that have put up the wall. I can validate it and saying things like 鈥渋t鈥檚 too hard鈥� or 鈥渢hat student doesn鈥檛 want to talk to anyone.鈥� I have found it鈥檚 a lot harder, but way more worth it to get out of my comfort zone and engage those exact students, trusting that the Lord will provide an avenue of communication, for His glory.